Hook, Line and Stinker
by Easymac120
Summary: The HTFs go cruising aboard Russell's new pirate ship. But when Petunia loses her deodorizer, her skunk smell wreaks havoc! Can she quell it before it's too late?


Here's my newest episode, so enjoy the reeking mayhem!!!

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**Happy Tree Friends**

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**Hook, Line and Stinker**

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**_Starring: Petunia_** (the page turns) **_Russell_** (the page turns) **_and... Lumpy_**

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**_Featuring: Giggles, Cuddles, Toothy, Nutty, Sniffles, and Splendid_**

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At Petunia's house, Petunia is putting her varied, colorful, multi-scented deodorizer collection into her luggage.

"Done yet!?" Giggles calls from outside with her own luggage.

"Almost!" Petunia answers. After she's done packing up, she joins Giggles outside and they head towards the beach!!!

* * *

Numerous beach-goers are going along with their own business. Splendid lands and sets up his lounger and umbrella, but before he can relax, he hears Pop's cries for help...

"Hm-hm-hmmmmm!" Splendid hums, and he flies over to see Pop trying to pull off lobsters that have latched onto the crying Cub.

"I can't get them off. Please help!" Pop begs. Splendid complies and easily pulls off the lobsters. After he flies back to his spot, we see that when he removed the lobsters, he also ripped off Cub's arm, foot, ears, and abdominal skin! The massive blood loss quickly kills Cub.

"OH MY GOD!!!" Pop screams.

On a nearby dock, Russell is the welcome wagon for his new pirate-cruise ship. Cuddles arrives with his luggage.

"Welcome aboard, matey!" Russell greets Cuddles as he boards the ship. Toothy arrives and knuckle-bops Cuddles as he boards the ship. Then Nutty and Sniffles arrive.

"Ehehehehehehe!!!" Nutty giggles as he boards the ship with Sniffles. Petunia and Giggles arrive.

"There it is!!!" Giggles exclaims with excitement.

"Ahoy, lassies!" Russell welcomes.

"You're the best, Captain Russell!!" Petunia exclaims as she and Giggles hug Russell and walk aboard. The girls then pair up with Toothy and Cuddles, respectively.

The last to arrive is crewmate Lumpy, who also brought fishing gear. "Hey, guys!" he greets as he and Russell board the ship.

"Yar, now ev'rybody's here!" Russell exclaims. "Lumpy, raise the anchor!"

Lumpy raises the anchor, then heads to the upper deck to steer the ship to sea.

* * *

Russell leads his passengers inside to their cabins, which take up 2 floors with Russell's and Lumpy's on the upper level. Cuddles and Giggles call the reamaining 2 on the upper level, then Russell guides the rest down to the lower level. But as they head down the stairwell, Lumpy steers into an underwater rock. This causes the ship to rock sideways and the passengers are knocked over, causing one of Petunia's cases to spill open and scatter her deodorizers around.

"Yar, that blasted moose musta hit somethin." Russell scoffs, going up to the deck.

"My deodorizers!" Petunia shrieks as she recollects her deodorizers from the floor. Toothy and Sniffles help her, while Nutty sees the colorful deodorizers as assorted candy! But before he can do anything, Petunia's deodorizers are recovered.

"Thanks, guys!" Petunia thanks Toothy and Sniffles.

"No problem!" Toothy replies, and the 4 move into their cabins.

* * *

Russell arrives on the upper deck to reprimand Lumpy's clumsy steering: "Yar, ye steered straight into a boulder."

"Ehehe, my bad!" Lumpy apologizes.

Russell gives Lumpy a fishrod: "How bout ye go reel us in some fish, yar!"

"AYE-AYE, CAPTAIN!!!" Lumpy affirms. He takes the fishrod, descends to the lower deck, and winds up his line...

"HYAH!" he casts his line, but nothing happens. So he reels it back and winds up for another cast, unkowingly snagging a life-vest in the process. "HYAH!"

Lumpy repeats the process again and again over the course of 3 days, snagging something and flinging it out to sea every time!!!

* * *

Giggles comes out of her cabin, then...

"YAAARGH!!!" Cuddles bursts out from his cabin to scare Giggles with a hook! Giggles screams with fright and Cuddles laughs!

"JERK!!!" Giggles pushes Cuddles back into his cabin, then heads downstairs to Petunia's cabin. "Hey, you comin up to the deck!?"

"Gimme a sec!" Petunia finishes setting up her cabin, grabs some sunblock, and joins Giggles to sunbathe on the lower deck.

Then Nutty, seeing Petunia leave, sneaks into her cabin. "Ehehehehehehehe!!!" he trashes Petunia's room while searching for her deodorizer case. He finds it, and gobbles up all the deodorizers inside!

"GYAHAHAHAHAHA, MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!" Nutty laughs with delight, then becomes depressed after his short-lived "candy" rush. But then he remembers that he brought his own candy, so he races back to his cabin to grab a candy bag from his luggage.

* * *

"Ahhh!..." Giggles and Petunia relax on loungers on the lower deck, wearing shades. Nearby, Lumpy is STILL trying to catch fish, this time snagging Russell's eyepatch as the otter steers the ship!

"ARGH!!!" Russell shrieks, then puts on a spare eyepatch. He sees Lumpy's horrible fishing, then descends to the lower deck get something.

"C'mon, it's been 3 days!" Lumpy tries again, snagging Giggles's lounger and flinging it from under her feet.

"Agh, stupid moose." Giggles gets up... "Petunia, I'll be inside."

Giggles goes inside as Petunia continues to relax. But seconds later, Lumpy snags her deodorizer, tearing it off and flinging it away!

"Huh?" Petunia realizes this... and her skunk odor begins to reek!!! "AAAAAAAAHHH!!!"

Petunia panics in circles before running back inside. Along the way, Nutty enters the deck, finishing his candy as Petunia runs by him. He smells her skunk odor...

"BLAAAGH!!!" Nutty suffocates on Petunia's fumes. As he gasps for breath, Lumpy snags his tongue and yanks out his entire digestive system, killing him. Petunia's undigested deodorizers are washed out, and drift to sea along with Nutty's digestive organs. Lumpy fails to notice any of this, however, merely reeling his line back.

Russell comes and gives Lumpy a fish-lure. "Here, matey. Cast it out, and WAIT for a nibble."

"AYE-AYE, CAPTAIN!!!" Lumpy affirms, and he continues fishing (properly). Russell then discovers Nutty's corpse, and catches a faint whiff of Petunia's putrid fumes...

"Yar, I smell a skunk..."

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Cuddles waits at the bottom of the stairwell, adjusting his hook as he chuckles mischieviously. He sees Petunia frantically running down the stairs, and prepares to scare her. Petunia comes...

"YAAARGH!!!" Cuddles pops out with his hook!

"EEEEK!!!" Petunia jumps back- and instinctively sprays skunk-juice into Cuddles's face!

"AAAGH!!!" Cuddles screams as he suffocates and his eyes water, frustrating Petunia even more. She rushes to her room as Cuddles staggers upstairs, vomitting all over the steps. Halfway up, he tries holding it in but his cheeks start to overfill...

Petunia reaches her cabin, but Giggles comes out. "SOMEBODY TRASHED YOUR ROOM!!!" she alerts Petunia.

"What!?" Petunia rushes in, and Giggles smells her skunk odor in the process. "No, no, NOOO!" Petunia hyperventilates, then she finds and opens her deodorizer case, but it's empty. "NOOOOO, THEY'RE ALL GONE!!! GIGGLES!!!"

"Uh..." Giggles thinks, holding her nose... "Stay here, I'll get my perfume." she leaves Petunia and heads up the stairs, but is slowed down by avoiding Cuddles's vomit. Halfway up, she sees Cuddles at the top, his cheeks about to burst from holding too much vomit.

"C-Cuddles?..." Giggles utters in horror as Cuddles's cheeks fill with more and more vomit. Finally succumbing, his head explodes, splattering blood and vomit all over the stairwell and blinding Giggles.

"AGH!!!" Giggles tries wiping Cuddles's vomit/blood off her eyes, thus she doesn't see Cuddles's hook clanging down the steps. And unfortunately, it's a REAL hook and it tears into Giggles's forehead, knocking her back. "GYAAAAAH-" she falls down the stairs, snapping her spine and forcing Cuddles's hook through her brain, killing her.

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Petunia wonders why Giggles is taking so long, then she goes to Sniffles, who's reading a book on his bed. "Sniffles, I need your help!"

"Petunia?" Sniffles puts aside his book and gets up. "What is it?"

But then he smells Petunia's odor as it fills up his cabin... "EEEWWW, YUCK!!! GET OUT!!!"

"WAIT!!!" Petunia pleas as Sniffles shoves her out.

"PUT ON A DEODORIZER!!!" Sniffles shouts.

"BUT THAT'S WHY-" Petunia is interrupted by Sniffles locking his door on her. She bangs on it. "PLEASE, JUST LISTEN-"

"Yahar, found ya!" Petunia hears Russell behind her, and sees him exiting her cabin and drawing his sword. "Yer comin with me."

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Later, we see Petunia with her hands tied behind her back. She watches tearfully as Russell dumps the bodies of Nutty, Cuddles and Giggles into the sea, where their blood attracts sharks. Then, keeping a safe distance from Petunia's fumes, Russell uses his sword to make her walk the plank.

"Captain, don't do this!" Petunia begs.

"Nothin personal, lassie. But yer stench must go, yar." Russell replies.

"Please, do you have deodorizer?" Petunia asks desperately.

"...... No, now WALK THE PLANK!!!" Russell jumps onto the plank to force Petunia to the edge. She looks down at the sharks circling below, eating her freinds' corpses. Meanwhile...

"Ugh..." Sniffles can no longer bear Petunia's fumes in his cabin, so he opens his window to let it out. From there, the fumes drift upwards towards the plank, catching Russell by suprise!

"YAAARGH!!!" Russell drops his sword as he suffocates from Petunia's fumes. Staggering for breath, he falls overboard, and Petunia takes the oppurtunity to run back inside. Then Lumpy arrives on the scene, having finally caught a (tiny) fish.

"CAPTAIN, I GOT ONE!!!" he shouts, then he sees Russell struggling in the water, still reeling from Petunia's fumes. Lumpy gasps, then he sees the sharks circling Russell. "AH!!!"

He rushes around the decks to find the life-buoys, but he unknowingly flung them away earlier. "Crap." He looks for the lifeboat, which he also flung overboard. "NO, NO, NO!!!"

* * *

In the kitchen, Toothy smells Petunia's fumes around the table, and his eyes water...

"ACK!!!" he holds his nose, backs away from the table, and discovers Petunia hiding under it. "Petunia?"

"Toothy!? Oh, thank God!!!" Petunia exclaims. "You got deodorizer?"

"Um, I don't know... I think so." Toothy answers. "Just stay here, I'll go check." he heads downstairs to his cabin. But then he falls...

...And his stuff slides towards his door-wall as the ship begins to tilt to the side. As it tilts, Petunia slides and hits her head on the kitchen wall.

* * *

The ship's tilting because Lumpy is moving the heavy stuff to that side to weigh it down enough for him to reach Russell. As a result, Nutty's and Sniffle's cabins are submerged under the ocean's surface...

... And with Sniffles's window still open, seawater begins surging into his cabin!!!

"AAAH!!!" Sniffles waddles through the rising water to reach his window, and struggles to close it against the water surging in. He uses his whole body in an attempt to hold it shut, but the pressure builds up... "Ugh... Uggghhh!!!"

The pressure becomes too much and forces the window open, splattering Sniffles against it and his cabin completely fills with seawater.

* * *

"AAAH, YAAARGH!!!" Russell screams as Lumpy weighs the ship's side down enough to hold his arm out.

"SWIM, CAPTAIN!!!" Lumpy shouts right before a shark lunges at him. "AH!!!" he jumps back, and realizes that the ship has sunk a bit due to Sniffles's flooded cabin. So Lumpy changes strategy, pushing all the heavy stuff to the opposite side to even the ship's weight, but the bottom floor is still submerged due to Sniffles's cabin.

"I'M GOING BACK FOR HELP!!!" Lumpy tells Russell, climbing up to the steering wheel.

* * *

With the ship upright again, Toothy resumes his search for deodorizer. He finds one, but frowns upon discovering he used it up.

"Agh, now what?..." he thinks... "..... Maybe Sniffles could concoct something!" he heads down the hallway to Sniffles's door, turns the knob...

... And all the water blasts out of Sniffles's cabin, drowning Toothy before he can even scream! More seawater flows through Sniffles's window and into the ship, and it begins to sink...

Petunia peeks from the kitchen, hearing the rising water. Following the sound, she sees the water rising up the stairway. "EEEK!!!"

* * *

She runs out onto the decks and quickly climbs up the mast towards the crow's nest. The ship continues sinking as Lumpy steers it to shore.

"LAND HO!!!" Lumpy shouts as he sees land in the distance...

"LUMPY!!!" Petunia alerts from the crow's nest, and Lumpy looks up to her before feeling his feet get wet...

"Huh?..." he looks down, and shrieks upon seeing the ship sinking under the waves. Now, only the mast is still above-water.

Petunia starts crying as she looks down at the ocean. Toothy's and Sniffles's corpses float by Lumpy as he tries swimming towards shore. Then he sees Russell, with only his head above the water and with a stiff expression of pain on his face...

"Captain!!!..." Lumpy swims towards Russell, noticing a pool of blood under him. "Captain?..."

He grabs Russell... and sees that Russell's head is all that's left of him! "HOLY SH-"

A shark catches Lumpy by the leg and lifts him up. "AAAAAAAAHHH!!! AH, AH, AH-" another shark chomps down on Lumpy's head, muffling his screams. The 2 sharks tug, pull, and shake Lumpy around until a 3rd shark chomps onto Lumpy's torso and tears him in half! Petunia watches the sharks feasting on Lumpy's carcass, and panics as the mast sinks lower and lower...

"HELP, HELP!!! SOMEBODY!!!!!" she starts screaming.

At the beach, Splendid is again setting up his lounger and umbrella. His supersonic hearing allows him to catch Petunia's screams.

"Hm-hm-hmmmmm!" he flies off, and finds Petunia hanging onto the mast itself as the crow's nest was submerged. He soars down, grabs her, and flies back up.

Petunia is overjoyed. "YAY, THANK YOU SO-" but Splendid smells her odor...

"BLAAAGH!!!" he holds his nose, dropping Petunia in the process. She screams as she falls, and is impaled on the mast's spire just before it sinks completely underwater!

Splendid, apparently forgetting Petunia, puts a clothespin on his nose to repel her fumes. "Ah!!!"

* * *

Back at the beach, Flaky is collecting seashells along the waterline when Petunia's pine deodorizer washes ashore.

"Huh?..." she picks it up, and since it's been neutralized by the seawater, she drops it into a trash can.

**_Moral: Fish and guests smell after 3 days._**

**The End!!!**

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Review please!!! And if anyone has any ideas for more episodes, feel free to tell me and I'll see what I can do!


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